This article was published on The Skidmo’ Daily website. The Skidmo’ Daily is Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.
If you’re like most college students, then you probably spend a lot of time on Facebook. And if you’re a Skidmore College student, then you’ve probably seen the daily posts from Facebook user “Skid Complimenter”—a page that posts anonymous compliments to people and groups of the Skidmore community. Most of us appreciate this spreading of positivity, unless, of course, we don’t get compliments. In that case, we are extremely bitter and resentful toward that one Annabel girl, who seems to get a compliment every day. Guess you were right mom; I’m just not likable enough.
Anyway, while Skid Complimenter has continued to post compliments each day, people have noticed an odd change. It appears that Skid Complimenter has developed opinions of its own on those who receive compliments. For example, the other day a sophomore art major received a compliment that brought attention to her creative talent, but the post took a turn. It read, “Anna Huber is super nice and an extremely talented oil painter… even though her work is actually pretty derivative. We get it, Anna. You’re a total slut for Claude Monet.”
At first, we thought that maybe the person who submitted the compliment included the last bit, but the same thing happened with several other posts. Here are some other examples:
Jason Norfield can totally get it, or at least he could if his eyes weren’t so far apart.
Tammy Alloca has a beautiful smile. Keep smiling, Tammy, even though your dad left when you were three.
Tara Cunningham makes me wanna rip my clothes off and bathe in a tub of boiling lava.
Should we assume that Skid Complimenter is behind these aggressive posts, or has everyone submitting to the page become extremely salty? Either way, this new trend has been sucking the positive energy from this campus. A senior, Randy Quinlan, had never gotten a compliment before, until he received a notification from Skid Complimenter last Thursday. “I couldn’t believe it. Getting that notification made me feel special for the first time in my four years at Skidmore,” Randy told Skidmo’. “I was on cloud nine. But then I clicked on the notification, and it said: ‘Randy Quinlan always makes my day when he doesn’t show up for chemistry.’ I was crushed.”
I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see if Skid Complimenter becomes an encouraging environment again. Until then, hang in there Skidmore.
