Categories
Satire

Increasing Awareness of Winter Holiday for Satanists

This article was published in the December 12, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.  You’ve heard of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, or maybe you’ve just heard of Christmas, which makes you kind of a dick. But whether you plan on decorating a tree or spinning a dreidel this winter, you […]

Categories
Satire

Junior Ring Is Harry Potter Themed, and The Amount of Quidditch Players Who Can’t Get Laid Remains at 83%

This article was published in the November 14, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.  On November 7 at 4 PM, SGA sent out the official email revealing this year’s Junior Ring theme, which is, to many people’s excitement, Harry Potter. Some students have expressed less giddiness than others, as some […]

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Satire

Personal Ad: Misunderstood Girl Seeks Guy Who Probably Doesn’t Exist

This article was published in the November 14, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.  I’m looking for a guy who probably doesn’t exist. My friends tell me I’m unbelievably picky and that I watch too many John Hughes movies, but we all deserve love, right? Anyway, I’m looking for a […]

Categories
Satire

Actual Alien Outraged After Not Getting Laid at Spectrum

This article was published in the November 14, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.  This past weekend, students of all class years and sexualities packed into Falstaff ’s for Spectrum, the first of two annual events hosted by Pride at Skidmore. Given a theme for each dance, students find a […]

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Satire

Idiot Preschooler Dresses Up as Clown for Northwoods Trick-or-Treating

This article was published in the October 31, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.  Skidmore College uses Halloween to bring its community closer together, with organized activities like Applemore or the Costume BBQ. While most of these fun events are for the students, there is one particularly adorable morning dedicated to […]

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Satire

Celebration Weekend: New Couples Split After Meeting Parents Too Soon

This article was published in the October 18, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.  Celebration Weekend is known for its unification of the Skidmore community. Parents get to experience their child’s home-away-from-home firsthand by enjoying captivating three-hour-long performances in the gymnasium and tasting the gourmet cuisine our students get to […]

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Satire

Skidmore Exposed: How Burgess Tried to Poison Me

This article was published in the October 18, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper.  Everyday I hear about how Skidmore College is a safe space. To be objective, this statement is often true. For example, I have only been hit by a Human versus Zombies nerf gun the one time. […]

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Satire

Girl Rejected by the Skidmore Bandersnatchers for Not Being Able to Snap

This article was published in the October 5, 2016 issue of The Skidmo’ Daily, Skidmore College’s only intentionally satirical newspaper. The Bandersnatchers are an all male a capella group on campus. Skidmore College has maintained its warm and accepting reputation for over a hundred years now. However, from (recent) personal experience I have learned that certain […]