Categories
Nonfiction

No Niche Nelly

I recently found out, at age twenty-five, that I have ADHD. As all my mentally ill and neurodivergent buddies know, a diagnosis can be very validating; it can make you look at your habits and go, Ooooooooh, THAT’S why I do that shit! For me, an example of “that shit” includes my inability to choose […]

Categories
Nonfiction

Zettropolis

I. Anyone can spend a week in Orlando, taking selfies with Micky Mouse and getting soaked on Splash Mountain. Anyone can pose with their pookie in front of the Eiffel Tower or with their Study Abroad Squad beside La Sagrada Familia. But how many people get to explore the fantastic and nightmarish depths of a […]

Categories
Nonfiction

Wrapped

It’s the first night of December, and I’m in the middle of the street. My street. It’s blocked off on one end, leaving ample space for me to pace around where no car can intrude. This space is the size of the driveway I wish I had in front of my tiny Berkeley apartment. I […]

Categories
Satire

The Daily Drunk Magazine: “What’s In Harry Styles’ Junk Drawer?”

My friends, Please forgive me for how long it has been since I have tickled your brains with my whimsical words. I have been up to my tits in my MFA work and general 2020 bullshit. I’m sure you understand.  The main reason I am posting is that I got published! Many of you know […]

Categories
Nonfiction

Being an Adult at Jiffy Lube

I am getting my oil changed, because I am an adult. This time I am waiting in the car with my windows down as opposed to waiting inside with the free, shitty coffee and box-shaped TV in the ceiling corner playing the local news. BRB as I light one up at this Jiffy Lube. Kidding. […]

Categories
Nonfiction

About Damn Time: A Call for Diversity in Bachelor Nation

In the wake of the murder of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, two of the more recent names of innocent Black lives lost due to police brutality, countless petitions have been circulating to reach mayors and other state/city-level positions of power to demand justice for these murders and to abolish the police. As a white […]

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Nonfiction

just a little, so it doesn’t look like you’re wearing any

The following was originally published at dearquarantinediary.com on April 8, 2020. Dear Quarantine Diary, When I was a kid, I went to bed watching Full House reruns on Nick At Night. I remember an episode in which DJ starts junior high and is immediately confronted by cool girls wearing thick eyeliner and red lipstick. 

Categories
Nonfiction

White Claw Tower

The following was originally published at dearquarantinediary.com on March 27, 2020. dear quarantine diary, Today I woke up with a dull headache. My eyes blinked open to an empty Google Meet room; all I saw was my sleepy face in the corner of the screen.  That’s right, I thought. I fell asleep on a video […]

Categories
Nonfiction

present on Zoom, trying to be seen

The following was originally published at dearquarantinediary.com on March 19, 2020. Dear Quarantine Diary, I’m finally horizontal — on my bed, but not to sleep. I came in here to smoke and listen to my Spotify playlist I made yesterday called “We’ll Be Alright.” The playlist has ended, and Spotify is suggesting Lorde. “Writer in […]

Categories
Nonfiction

On Vitamin D

 “I’ve never seen you so happy.” This statement was uttered by my then-boyfriend on a sixty-degree day in February my junior year of college. His sentiment was bold but not hyperbolic. We had gotten together in the fall, so he had yet to see his girlfriend intoxicated with vitamin D.